When the going gets tough...

First of all, I would like to apologize for my last post: It was self-indulgent and served no purpose whatsoever, other than to boast my ego, so...sorry.

This week has not been very good writing-wise. Sure, I have achieved the word counts I wanted to reach (I just finished typing the 37,350th word and am at page 70 of the manuscript) by sheer power of persistance. The puffy, pink cloud of the initial enthusiasm has become increasingly thin though, and my belief in what I have written so far has disappeared faster than you can say "NaNo".

I told Mr. Bunny alcohol is not the answer. He wouldn't listen...

The whole situation is quite sad actually: I slouch over my desk, check my facebook page, watch videos of John Green on YouTube and every now and then return to the blank page with a silent sigh as the once cotton-candy-like cloud is joined by other, darker, meaner clouds, forming what looks like a pretty big shitstorm coming my way.

My story seems plotless, as self-indulgent as my last post was, my characters have the depth of a pizza carton, the perspective of the narrative is as moody as my best friend's cat and I can't, for the life of me, see the end of this mess I've put myself into.

One of my worst problems is what others call the voice of the story. Namely, I have none. Well...not yet. I fight to find the right words, the right tone, the right order, the right ... everything.

So, I took a break, started reading "About a Boy", did some research and today I told myself to stop whining and just do it. Finish the damn thing. Even if it is the worst story ever written. Even if I read it and pull my hair in despair. Even if it is the literary equivalent of a car crash you can't look away from, I will finish the damn thing by November 30, because I know this is what it's supposed to be like.

I know the story sucks, it's OK. I have come to terms with the fact that I won't write the perfect novel in one month at the first try. That is not the point of NaNo. The point of NaNo is this: To finish the worst novel you have ever written.

I leave you with Philip Pullman's pep talk to NaNo Warriors across the globe. I read this and checked my desk for bugs after I was done: How could Mr. Pullman know I am at page 70 of the manuscript?
Because he has been there and done that. And that gives me hope.

Philip Pullman's pep talk